You Know You're a Mom When ...

We've all been there. The proverbial "I feel like this welcomes me into motherhood!" situation. For me, it might have been the time I caught my daughter's throw up in my hands because I didn't want to have to clean up an even bigger mess on the floor. Or maybe it was the time that her dirty diaper, and I mean extra dirty, fell on me, and all I thought was, "Oh. I have to clean my leg now and wash the sheets," and it didn't even phase me.

You Know You're a Mom When...

•you're overly tired but still manage to "properly" function on 5+/- hours of sleep

•you've accidentally stepped on a toy in the house while barefoot and realize it just may be a worse pain than giving birth (legos? princess barbie high heel shoes? HOLY HELL IT HURTS SO BAD)

•having somebody else's bodily fluids on you doesn't freak you out anymore

•blood doesn't phase you anymore

*you find yourself rocking but you're not holding a baby

*you've said repeatedly "no red lights" in the car for fear a stopped car will wake the baby

*you've had to learn to "internalize the pain" when around the baby/kids so not to use profanities

•you can no longer pee in private and can't remember the last time you did

•you're lucky if you shower everyday every other day

•you don't understand why your husband doesn't know the babies different cries yet

•you have the baby bathed, fed, diaper and outfit changed, as well as yourself, in the same amount of time it takes for your husband to get just himself ready

•you know what places have changing tables

•you judge people on if they smile back at your baby if your baby smiles at them

•you no longer are phased by the mysterious "spot" on your shirt

•you've found a roll of toilet paper totally unrolled all over the floor

•"me time" equals daddy watching the baby while you clean the house

•you have baby wipes in every room

•you wonder how you ever survived without baby wipes

•your Michael Kors purse has been replaced by a Vera Bradley diaper bag

•you've found your keys under something that was not the original place you left them

•you sing childrens songs around the clock and have come up with new lyrics to said songs

•you've had the tv on to some type of children's show, when your child isn't even in the same room

•the above applies to childrens music in the car, too

•you now know glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts

•you don't understand how someone can survive on pretty much just air for an entire day. why do toddlers eat such.little.food and make us worry.
•you catch yourself staring in awe at this amazing life you created

•you've crawled around/under the crib in the middle of the night searching for a paci
•you don't understand why there are so.many.pieces to sippy cups

•you see a newborn and think "awe, how cute!" and "hope you're getting at least a little rest" for the Mom, even though you know better than to say that

•drive thru Starbucks are Godsends

•drive thru anything are Godsends

•you know which waiters/waitresses have kids because they're the ones that don't place hot plates and silverware directly in front of the baby/toddler

•you now want to punch your loud neighbors in the face when they are up late making noise/having parties, because you have a sleeping baby

•but pre-baby? You would've joined the neighbors party

•you'd rather spend money on the baby than yourself

•being "risky" means staying up late to watch tv, even though the baby doesn't care and will wake up earlier than usual the next morning, just because they can

•your heart aches when you hear about any child in pain

•instead of glaring, you offer looks of understanding when another baby/toddler is screaming in a restaurant (and then thank the good Lord it isn't your child)

•you worry more about your child than you do yourself

•you've found that you can hold the whole world in your arms.


Feel free to add to the list, ladies.