No surprise here, but I'm not perfect. I'm not a perfect teacher, I'm not a perfect spouse, I'm not a perfect parent. (although I definitely try to be)
What also won't come as a surprise to people that know me is that I try to be highly considerate of others. If I think you may have had a rough day, for example, I'll try to do something nice to cheer you up.
Or, let's say, if we have a playdate set up, and I even think my child may be getting sick? I'll suggest a raincheck and we'll reschedule.
People we know well get together every Sunday to watch the football games. Today we went to watch some of the games and to have cake for hubs and two friends birthdays that are all within a week of each other.
Simple enough.
Except we get there and each of the two other kids are sick.
Runny nose like a faucet. Horrible cough that would make you wince when you heard it. One is 21 months, the other 18 months. The 18 mo old was irritable today (she complains quite a bit anyway) and has never been kind to M. She always bully's M. The 21 mo, a boy, is sweet to M, when he isn't chucking toys everywhere. (I could write a story here about he almost hurt M badly last month, but I blocked the hurled item and got hurt instead... but I'd digress)
Today? Today made me come home with my sweet little family and cry.
Today, that 18 mo old took toys from my 13 mo old daughter. That 18 mo old hit my child who had just SMILED at her (her being the bully), and she took her snack trap out of her hands. M had barely eaten anything in 3 hours. She was distracted by all the people. I was about to warm up a can of food I had for her when the bully did this. M just looked at the bully. I took the snack trap back immediately, offered the bully a puff, to which she snarled at me, turned her back and walked away. M took out a puff, offered bully a puff, and the same thing happened. I never got to warm up the food because I was protecting my child.
The parents of the bully? Pretty much did nothing. The Dad pulled bully away only one of several times she took toys from M. Yet he saw it happen at least 3 times. I had M sit on my lap or stayed right next to her after the first incident and still this 18 mo tried to bully my child.
Bully's parents warmed up food for their kid. (we were at their house) They offered the 21 mo old food, too. M was offered nothing. Bully's parents brought out toys for the 21 mo old. M wasn't even paid attention to by them.
(side note: M ate for dinner what she usually eats in an entire day. She barely got a chance to eat while we were at bully's house.)
M has been praised by other parents for sharing and not being the "noo!!! Thats mineeee!!!" type of kid. She's wonderful and loving.
Bully? Not so much.
I have no idea how to handle these situations. I can't believe that M was so sweet and gentle to the bully, and yet, bully was still mean. M was even talking and playing with me and by herself. The bully didn't like this and came over and took the book out of M's hand. I was screaming inside.
Two other times, the bully was trying to poke my daughter in the face. Hard. I blocked the bully both times. M started talking to the bully. The bully scowled at M again.
At least half a dozen incidences of bullying today and the parents of BOTH kids exposing my healthy (knock on wood!) child to their sick kids?
I came home exhausted. I'm hurt for my daughter being treated this way. I'm upset some parents have absolutely no regard for the health of other people's children. I'm annoyed that some parents turn a blind eye to the negative actions of their children. I'm sad that my child will probably come across bullying again.
How do you deal with this? Do you discipline someone else's child when they're hurting your own?
What do you say or do?
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