Three Measly Bites Of Pizza Isn't Enough

I admit, it's been a while since I've been to a bar. Actually, it's been almost two years. And before my last bar visit in December/2010, it had been at least 3 years.

Basically, my bar-hopping days ended when I graduated college sort of died off when I started teaching at the ripe old age of 24.

The time in December/2010 when I went to a bar, it was for a bff's birthday. It was my first time being away from M and she was almost 3 months old. I was the girl sitting off to the side, texting her husband who was at a wu-tang concert, missing her little family of 3 terribly while ignoring approaching guys and sipping drinking a warm bud light. GROSS.

So as you can see, I was so! much! fun! to be around at the party.

And over the past two years, I've been invited to plenty of friends get-togethers/parties/bonfires/bbq's/what have you. But, I didn't feel a need to go, or a strong desire to go, to any of the functions. I just wanted to be with my husband, and daughter, and be together in our little home.

Then I got invited to one of my good friends birthday parties. The big 3-0. We had a falling out several years ago, but were such close friends before the argument, that not hanging out and talking? Actually made me sad sometimes.

So I knew I had to rekindle the friendship and go to her party.

And with everyone urging me to go, I went.

And I madeasked The Husband to come with me. For the record? I'd just like to take a moment to brag about my husband. He doesn't like bars. He doesn't like drunk people. He doesn't like cigarette smoke that lurks in bars. He doesn't care for liquor or beer that much.

But this hot guy I'm married to? He didn't complain once about the whole situation. He came with me to make sure I had a DD, to make sure I was safe and comfortable, and to just be a part of who else makes me happy in life. Like my friends.

And my husband? He sat at the bar, watching sports, getting hit on by women, (no joke, he actually did after I walked back to dance with my friends), and made sure I enjoyed myself. He even danced with me a little ... coming out of his shell a little.

So Husband, if you ever in life read this? I want to say thanks. For making me go and feel young again. For making me feel safe. For loving me the way you do.

Oh, and also for making me drink water before I went to bed and cutting me off from more liquor at the bar so my hangover wouldn't be that bad.

Ahem. Anyway.

The problem with liquor, you see, is that it sometimes makes you think you're:

1.) a better singer than you really are
2.) a better dancer than you really are
3.) everyones friend. Best friend, actually
4.) sweating and hot. But really? You're wearing something you shouldn't be for your age and it's 65* outside but you don't feel the cold that is making your sober husbands teeth chatter because LIQUOR MAKES YOU FEEL DIFFERENT, OKAY.

Now, I may or may not be talking from experience about the above mentioned comments.

But I got to thinking, What Advice Would I Give Most People My Age About Drinking In Bars And Wanting To Act Like They Are 21 Again For A Night?

Take notes if you need to because my apparent wisdom knows no boundaries. (HAHAHAA)

1.) YOU ARE NOT 21 ANYMORE. Don't try to act like it.

Now, I could probably just stop there with the advice. But, I suffer from word vomit sometimes, so, bare with me.

2.) Eating three measly bites of pizza at 5pm, being the ONLY food you ate the entire day, before you go get shitfacedsome drinks? NOT SMART. Eat more next time. Thank me later.

3.) You should not try out new dance moves when drinking. Just, no.

4.) Yes, Livin' On The Edge is a bar anthem. No, you can not sing like Bon Jovi. Or do a "mean" air guitar. Chill the f out, okay?

5.) Contrary to what you think, your body really does need more sleep now than back at 21. So sure, TRY to stay up partying until 2:30am. But when
lifethe kid(s) and dogs wake you up at 7:30am, don't get upset with them.

6.) That last-to-last shot you've been talking about for 20 minutes? It's not a good idea.

7.) Lastly, remember: YOU'RE NOT 21 ANYMORE.

Thankfully, I woke up feeling great in the morning. M is a wonderful kid and took it easy on me like she always does. The Husband made sure I felt fine before we ran errands.

It was great to see my best friends and act like we're 21 againhave some drinks.

But man was it nice to come home and cuddle with M and The Husband.

This growing up thing isn't so bad after all.